ANGER MANAGMENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Photo Credit: www.dreamstime.com

 

Hello lovely people, I hope you guys are enjoying yourself so far on this chat. I’ve had quite a number of you cheering me on this blog and a few that laid complain on my blog design. I say, thank you all and will keeping blogging and trying to make it better. I am a work-in-progress.

I want to hit on anger management in relationships. You know it does not really take much to start creating relationship problems and damages. Anger is an emotion that everyone experience, but how you manage it in your relationship can either save it or damage it. Also being angry is not a sign that your relationship is about to sink. You know there is this certain point of anger that human begin reaches, we begin to loose our ability to function rationally. In science, they say ‘neuron chemical is being release to human brain and body’. This is why we say harsh words to our partner when we are upset and regrets later after we’ve cooled off?

Obviously, we have read so many anger management, many of those would be stopping yourself before you escalade. On my account, I use to struggle with anger, hence I also struggle with stopping myself, which means the ideals I got becomes difficult to be implemented.

Let me share with you three ways you can internally manage your anger in your relationship.

First of all, you need to understand that when you loose control, you will never get what you want. Do you know that anger can make a strong point? Yes it does, when you are angry and talking at same time. Your voice becomes loud and your words will be sharper. No one will give you what you want at that point. Even if by chance, you got what you want, you won’t have it for long as your partner will only be giving it to you grudgingly. This will not yield a health relationship with your partner.

Ideally, I will suggest that whenever you find yourself loosing it in anyway. Tell yourself that you are about to loose the most precious thing that you’ve ever wanted. Stop whatever you are saying or doing and take a walk to cool off. It works for me, am sure it will work for you also.

Secondly, do you think, what you think is happening is actually happening, huh? How you view the situation is primarily the thing that creates your strong emotional reaction. Most times I get angry at what I think is actually happening, but in reality I’m wrong. I always vote for get angry at the right things not otherwise. This reminds me how I quickly jump into conclusion and get angry at the wrong things which damaged my relationships with my besties.

As I grew older, I adopted the ‘Ask for clarification style’. My two close friends on campus then would tell me, “Oly, clarify before you react”, such as “are you talking to me…”, “do you mean…”, this will satisfy your curiosity and let you know what exactly is going on with your partner.

Lastly, assess your entitlement level. Anger normally comes from self entitlement. That sense that tells you that, you have the right to demand the thing you want from that person or your partner. In some cases, yes. In all cases, it makes no difference. Remember, the person towards whom you feel entitled to also have the right to feel you don’t need anything from them and is likely to feel angry at your self entitlement behavior. This will make both parties in a relationship angry and that is not healthy for them.

I would say to avoid being angry, remind yourself frequently that no one owes you anything even if you wished they did. Not even your boyfriend or husband. You don’t have the right to DEMAND only the right to ask. In any case if you feel yourself heated up, remember my rule number #1 above.

All I’ve wrote on this post is what I’ve experiences and it worked for me, however, there might be other ways you manage yours. Do share with us through the comment section.

Like I said am not an expert or professional. I’m more of a learner. Chat with me here

Chat with Oly thru:

Comment Section on blog

Tweet @chatwitholy

e-mail : chatwitholy@gmail.com