Hello
Reader, welcome to my first chat post. I hope we will find something to learn
out of it and please remember to drop your opinion on the comment section. Your
views matters…
So
there was this young guy that likes this girl, he made his first approach to
her, it was successful and there might be a future between them but there comes
a challenge – she lives in another country and here he is thinking of his
chances to the alter with this girl if they embark on a long distance
relationship.
Well,
I have the chance to speak on this issue because I’m practically speaking from
experience.
To think that long distant relationship is going to be easy and
normal like the short distant relationship, you are on a longgg thing, as in
you must be deceived. I always say that long distant relationship is for those
strong at heart. The mere fact that you love someone but he/she is not around
you consistently, you both live different lives, maybe at different time
interval, you both meet different people all the time, before you know it I
swear the interest will be begin to have a twist. Although is not in all cases,
true love counter my earlier statement.
PS I’ll be using LDR mostly so you know I mean long distant
relationship.
Alright
the deal (LDR) is difficult but not entirely impossible as I have heard lots of
successful LDR. The extra distance makes things unachievable and complicated.
On the other hand, I would say, because of that extra distance simplest things
becomes the sweetest, like holding of hands, chatting the whole day alone in
the room without been bored, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s
armpits or hair, oh I do this a lot, eating together etc these small wishes
will definitely mean so much in LDR. So
I told him, if he really loves this girl and wants to have a future with her,
he should give it a try but before he jump the van, I would like to share some
tips that helped me and some people in surviving the LDR.
Having a goal: what do both of you want? How long can this LDR
be? Is there a future? If yes, when? These questions needs to be addressed and
plans should be made on achieving them by couples involved. These will
ascertain whether the couples are on the same page.
Invest in the relationship and commit
to it: put in every required
effort to make each other happy. But both of you need to make it clear on what
you expect from each other. For my case, my boo told me never to hide a thing
from him. I follow it religiously at least for now it has not disappointed me.
What is your commitment level? Is it okay to go on dates with people? I believe
you shouldn’t do things that will shock the other person. Investment is very
expensive and takes in two forms, time and money. We involuntary made a rule of
visiting each other every 6 months without even knowing we did, but because I
don’t have a steady income, my boo make all the trip expenses, aside the visit,
we make call almost every 3 to 4 hours interval, if you can’t call, do texting, whatsapp, skype
all these are investment.
Communication is very very very
important: I stressed this because
it is advised to have an open communication both in short distance relationship
and in long distant relationship. Try this, always greet each other good
morning and good night every day. Spice it up by sending your day’s look
through your phone. If you are offended do not hesitate to voice it out to your
significant other. Update your where about. No matter how far your
girlfriend/boyfriend is you should be able to give account of their where
about. The key is to keep in touch and be open, when in doubts ask questions,
if you are worried, tell your partner you are. Do not keep it. Always speak.
Gain trust: if there is no trust between you two, I swear, is
a waste of time staying in the relationship and hope you are not the jealous
type, because knowing your partner is hanging out with others can be a mess to
you and hard to deal with. Well what I normally do is a reassurance of security
from my boo. Trust is a big deal.
You need to talk dirty sometimes: I mean say those things that would prick his
sexual desires. To me, this acts like the fire that keeps us burning and
yearning for each other. Send some romantic text with provocative stuffs. Is
fun try it someday.
Always do things together: this act will keep you both close even though you
are miles away from each other. I’m a fan of seasonal movies, so when I get an
interesting one I call my boo to join me and we talk about it on phone. We read
things too together. Some other people skype, some go to online shopping
together, be creative in this one.
Enjoy your “me” time: I mean do not let your whole life practically
revolve around him. Take time to build your self career wise, develop your
skill, work on your body, and take interest in your hobby. Is fun to me when I
do what I want care freely and know that some one somewhere is always happy
with who I am and what I do.
In
a nutshell, I told him if you meet that person you want to spend the rest of
your life with. And both of you are on the same page, I mean distance is not a
reason to set you both apart. Be
positive, LDR is not easy but injecting positive energy will keep it alive.
So
is your turn, how do you cope in long distant relationship?
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e-mail : chatwitholy@gmail.com
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